I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
what the fuck happened to the tacos
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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