I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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