You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you traded sex for a burrito?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
