Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
