pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
