Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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