Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
