Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
