I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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