Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
