he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
