Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
