I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
