This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize