i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
