You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
