You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
