why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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