what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
