The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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