There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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