I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
