she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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