she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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