Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
