I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
