Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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