i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
