He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
