Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
