Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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