He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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