Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
