Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
