the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Randomize