I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
