My hand turned me down
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
