they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
