I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
