It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
