Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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