so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
