Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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