Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
