She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
