you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
