I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We had sex on a dog bed..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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