I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
