I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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