He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Green mimosas i think yes
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
