hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
