They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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