I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize