She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You took a bar mat shot.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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