god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
