sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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