Plan B is the new Plan A
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
